His Plan is Perfect. And, Mine? Well, it’s Just NOT.

I woke up from a dream early this morning in which I had given birth to twins…. Twin girls. I rarely remember my dreams in such clear detail, but this particular dream has been on constant replay all morning. And,as  I began to consider my dream, it led me to think about our decision to pursue adoption.

In late 2007, Brad and I started discussing the possibility of having more children. In the midst of those discussions, I became very ill with symptoms of endometriosis, which eventually resulted in a radical hysterectomy in April of 2010. At that time, we felt that God had made it crystal clear that we were not meant to expand our family.

As my health improved after my surgery, I found that the desire to have more children had not left my heart and I began to pray earnestly that God would give me wisdom to decipher His will for our family. Brad wasn’t so much open to the idea and, so – the matter was again closed.

By December 2010, my health was again an issue and I was struggling with the discouragement that goes hand in hand with the unexplained and constant headaches, fatigue and other debilitating symptoms I was experiencing nearly every day. In March, after hours of internet research I had diagnosed myself with thyroid disease and went to see my Dr. for confirmation. Several weeks later, I was told that I did not, in fact have thyroid disease but rather something called Celiac Disease.

Based on the very little I knew about CD, I assumed I would live out the rest of my days without ever having the freedom to eat bread or pasta again. Little did I know that I had been diagnosed with an auto immune disease that had the potential to lead to other, more horrendous and not so treatable diseases such as Lupus, Lymphoma and several different types of cancer. I was, to say the very least, overwhelmed. I went through a period of self pity and even spent several weeks eating as little food as possible for fear of consuming the dreaded gluten that was wreaking havoc on my body’s immune system.

As I did more and more research and received some much needed information and encouragement from some wonderful friends and family members, I was able to build a solid strategy to remove gluten from my diet. Little by little, I began to feel human again as my intestines healed from the years of damage that had taken place as a result of gluten disallowing essential nutrients to be absorbed within my body. And, as my body healed so did my mind. Through my research, I found that many Celiacs like myself had experienced something that can only be described as a “brain fog”. I just wasn’t “myself” through the many months before my diagnosis.

As the fog cleared, I again found that the desire I had to be a mother again had not subsided. When I first approached Brad, he was not amused. But, he agreed to seriously pray about it and “get back to me”. It took less than one week for God to work in his heart and give him, too the desire to be a parent to another child. We told our daughters of our desire and all three of them were just as excited as we were at the possibility of a new sibling. And, as they say, the rest is history….

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3 thoughts on “His Plan is Perfect. And, Mine? Well, it’s Just NOT.

  1. Zounds! What an enormous and wonderful surprise! May the Lord richly bless your caring hearts!! You about knocked me off my chair! A boy in the family!! And the way you two love children, it’ll be a win-win situation. No doubt the little fella is an orphan due to the toll the violent weather took on those poor people down there. Do you have a child identified yet? If so, how old is he? I haven’t read the following posts yet, but just had to fire this one off!

  2. I go so excited about your adoption process, Shellie, that I forgot to comment on your CD, and all that led up to the dx. We spoke about it recently, but getting the background helps in undestanding your struggles. I know a couple of zero-gluten people, and they have done like you have — pressed on with life but in a bit of a different vector. And now their diets are second-nature to them. I’m praying that this will be your case, soon.
    Love, RY

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