Blogging = FREE Therapy

I got some clarification from my Aunt Amy yesterday regarding the timeline for i600a approval and it sounds like it should be about 90 days or so from the time we submit the form.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t maybe just a little disappointed that it’ll be a few months before we can even submit our dossier since I thought we’d be able to send it off within the next month. But, there’s an even bigger part of me that’s relieved that we’ll have more time to budget, save and do some more fundraising.

The whole “money” part of this process is a big hang up for me and I can only guess that it’s because I’m such a control freak. I handle our family budget, which I keep on an Excel spreadsheet that is color coded and categorized down to the penny each and every week. I’m at a bit of a loss when it comes to adoption expenses and I can’t fathom where we’re going to come up with thousands and thousands of dollars in the next year or so.

I have a confession to make… My faith – the same faith I’ve mentioned over and over throughout the course of this blog – isn’t as strong or unshakable as I wish it were. Brad reminds me often and I (try to) remind myself that we are following God’s will by pursuing this adoption and we know that He will provide. I know that He will and, yet I find myself feeling weak and anxious and discouraged.

And, then I start searching for comfort and He leads me to the answers to all of my anxieties:

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’”  Luke 12:22-26

I love that passage so much, especially the verse that says, “And how much more valuable you are than birds!”

And, what about this one?:

“…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:26-28

“The Spirit helps us in our weakness.” I’m so thankful for that truth! On the days that I feel unworthy and unable to express myself in prayer to my Savior, the Spirit intercedes for me.

In 2 Corinthians Paul writes, “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

His grace is sufficient for me. He’s going to grow me through this process and that wouldn’t be possible if it all happened overnight.

I won’t stop praying that the USCIS moves quickly to approve our paperwork or that Brad and I will be able to travel to Congo to bring our son home sooner rather than later. But I will pray that the Lord continues to work in my stubborn heart and to mold and shape me into the woman, the wife and mother He wants for me to be.

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